Bristol Canoe Club Magazine – November 1998
BRISTOL CANOE CLUB MAGAZINE
November 1998
EDITOR
Again, apologies for the late issue of this magazine. I would dearly love to have lots of articles, pictures, and jokes, etc, to publish, but there seem to be very few coming in (except a couple of very large articles!) Many thanks to everyone who has provided any input for this magazine, and please can anyone else think about providing something for the next issue. It needn’t be long – just a paragraph or so would be very welcome. The next issue should be a little fancier after I get the hang of these new-fangled computer thingies…
Thanks very much,
Conor – Magazine Editor.
In this issue:
* New Club Committee
* Chairman’s Chatter
* Club Awards
* Polo Report
* Club Equipment
* Slalom Report
* Marketplace
* We’re on the Internet
* Instructors Wanted
* Spain Summer 1998
* You might be a boater if…
* Programme
* Membership list
New Club Committee
The following were elected at the 1998 AGM:
Quentin Nichols Chairman
Lisa Gunton Secretary
Conor O’Neill Treasurer
Other committee members:
Stuart Balkwill Master dogsbody
Steve Bennett Marathon rep, and Docks liaison
Paula Budge Social rep
Paul Coyne Coaching
Harvey Lyons Pool and Polo rep
Nick Wainwright Second dogsbody
Quentin also takes on the role of Equipment Officer, and Conor is Slalom rep and Magazine Editor.
All their phone numbers are in the membership list at the back of the magazine.
Chairman’s Chatter !!!
It seems that our chairman is busy paddling, so he hasn’t managed to write anything to go here…
However, please remember that club membership was up for renewal on 1st November. I am sending this newsletter out to all members whether you have just renewed or not, but if you don’t renew NOW, then you won’t get another reminder. Please send your renewal forms and cheques to Conor.
Club Awards
The following awards were given at the AGM:
Phil Longrigg Trophy Clive Weston
Most Improved Junior Paddler Beth Hewer
Most Improved Slalom Paddler Avis Noott
Most Improved White-Water Paddler Gary Sweet
Most ‘Valuable’ Polo Player Ben Wainwright
Most Improved Marathon paddler Stuart Balkwill
Fish of the Year Ron Stinchcombe
Chunder Bucket Rob Knott
The Phil Longrigg Trophy is awarded to the club paddler who has done best in a series of events held by the club. Participation is the key, so you should try to enter as many of the events as possible.
Polo News #1
[ Editor’s note: This first article arrived a while ago, so some of it is now out of date ]
Tournaments
The Bristol Pitbulls [ Ed: my spell checker suggested this should be ‘Potbellies’] are entered into two leagues this year, the National Div 4 and the South West Invitational League; dates are:
Div 4 (Kingswood Leisure Centre): Sept 26; 6pm until 10pm, Oct 17, Nov 7, Jan 3, Mar 20th.
Invitation League (Millfield School, Street): Dec 13; 4pm until 8 pm, Jan 10, Jan 17, Feb 7, Mar 7, and may be additional dates in April
The current squad for the Pitbulls are: Andy Wishart, Darren Courtnage, Dylan Tomlinson(*), Harvey Lyons, Justin Simms, Lee Nicholls(*), Mark Gillett, Rob Hignell, Simon Curtis(*), Simon Reid. (*) denotes referees.
Trophies
Congratulations to one of our teams during the summer who came second in the University Tournament.
Novice Team
The standard of play by the Pitbulls is still “improving”, therefore we are always looking to attract new and better players. If you feel like playing in a team and enjoying some team camaraderie (normally at Justin’s expense), then why not join our Novice Team – the Bristol Puppies. Sadly, this year we have been unable to field a team in the novice division, but if your interested then please contact either Lisa Gunton, or myself.
The Pool
As many of you know the Pool has started again, and controversy continues. Last year the Club lost around £400 on the Polo Pool Fees. Often, we had less than 9 players, and the economics of attracting “students” meant that the income was not sufficient to cover costs. The Club Committee has therefore been forced to raise all fees to £5 per session. Currently, after three weeks of pool, we are still slightly behind! Furthermore, next year it is unlikely we will continue Pool Polo when the Club session ceases for the summer in April; so all you pool paddlers can use the excellent and FREE facilities at the Baltic Wharf!
In order to reduce these fees, I am in contact with Bristol Community Sports to try and reduce or remove the cost of a life-guard. However, if we are to reduce the fees, we need YOU coming regularly. If we had 12-20 (20 is maximum with 4 teams of 5 players) people playing regularly, we could easily cover the £5 weekly fee, at less than £5 per head. If we are breaking even, we could consider a number of options:
* Advance payment discounts
* Payment by standing order (Avon Assassins all pay £17 by standing
order per month irrespective of whether they play)
* Reduced cost for all; say £4.
* Reduced cost for people with their own equipment
* Concessions for under 18s, students, or unemployed.
* Discounts for referees and organizers (well, may be not!) etc. etc.
If you have any suggestions please let me know, but please come on Wednesdays and support your Club.
Pool Start Times
Organizing teams on Wednesday can be difficult. If you want to play, please arrive by 8-15pm latest. Furthermore, if you arrive early please help put up the goals etc, so we can start at 8-30pm SHARP.
Also, it is imperative that we leave the pool by 10-00pm; if you’ve never taken down the goals or checked all equipment is away … then please find out what to do, so we can play polo for the maximum amount of time!
Referees
Congratulations to Lee Nicholls and Simon Curtis for qualifying as Grade 3 referees this summer. Hopefully, the standard of refereeing will improve now on Wednesday. Also, many thanks to Dylan for organizing the referees course, and bludgeoning people into the training courses.
Look forward to seeing you on Wednesday nights…… Mark Gillett
Polo News #2
[ Editor’s note: This second article is a lot more up to date ]
Competitions
Bristol Canoe Club’s competitive side is improving with our Pitbulls gaining a commanding lead in the South West Div. 4 League. So far we’ve played 14 games, winning eight, and only losing two; the two losses we blamed Justin for!
The League this year contains 12 teams from all over the south west, including Guernsey, Cornwall, and a C contingent from our “friends” at Avon! The main difference to this year’s performance is our ability to field at least six people in a squad. So well done to the team, and Justin, “keep passing the ball”!
I’m also pleased to report that Lisa Gunton has organised a “Pups” Team for the Invitational League. Having a second team demonstrates the continued interest in polo within the Club, and that we can now offer members the opportunity to participate in competitions at a less serious level. (PS the Pitbulls are keeping an eye on the Pups for promising replacements for Justin!)
Pool
On the pool side, the committee having received some heated comments from Polo Players has made the following recommendations for Pool Fees on a Wednesday night:
1. Full members £5 per session
2. Concessionary rates £4
3. In the event that 16 people turn up, and we play four teams, all participants will be charged£4 for that session ONLY.
Ensuring the Pool session continues to cover costs through out the year is essential. So far, the money I have been collecting has covered the weekly charge of £55. However, it is essential we maintain the numbers above 12, so please keep on coming, and bring a friend!!
Pool Organisation
Finally, as many of you know I try to organise the Wednesday night session as efficiently (…….its not just because I like shouting!) as possible, to ensure we maximise the time available and have fair teams so everyone can participate. I would therefore very much appreciate if the following guide-lines can be applied:
1. Ensure arrival at the Pool by 8-15pm, so teams can be “fairly” picked.
2. Be ready to get on the water at 8-30pm.
3. When your team is due to play make sure you have ready the correct bib, a helmet, buoyancy vest, etc; a boat is also useful.
4. The Goals do not magically hang themselves; so please either help put them up, or help take them down.
5. Finally if you want a copy of the rules, the BCU Polo Handbook costs £2-50 from BCU Supplies and provides a lot more excellent information.
Look forward to seeing you all on Wednesday nights.
Mark Gillett
Club Equipment
As discussed at the club AGM, it is felt that the current cost of hiring one of the club boats is very cheap. We have therefore decided to raise the cost of hiring a club boat to £5 (per seat) for a weekend. Please contact Quentin Nichols (Equipment Officer) or Steve Bennett (Marathon rep) if you need to hire a boat.
Slalom report
At the time of writing, it is still not clear what will happen about the slalom which the club is intending to run in May 1999 at Llandysul. The BCU Slalom committee haven’t yet told us whether they want us to change the date, or to clash with another slalom. If you are interested, contact me to find the latest information.
Conor
Marketplace
For Sale: Perception Pirouette S Proline Very Good Condition Purple, £300 ono Contact: Simon Curtis on a Wednesday night
For Sale: Perception SuperSport Bow & Stern caps Bulkhead Footrest Airbags £300 or swap for Topo Contact: Tom Evans on 0117 955 8985
For Sale: Nomad Slalom Boat Offers Contact: Justin Sims on 0976 306915
For Sale: Dagger AQ II WW Kayak Ideal first boat Good Condition £300 Contact: Simon Curtis on a Wednesday night
We’re on the Internet
Those with access to the Internet can have a look at the club web page, at:
http://www.bristolcanoeclub.org.uk/
I am putting together a list of all members who have access to E-mail. If you haven’t already told me about your E-mail address, then E-mail me at: [ old email address now removed ]
If you have access to Internet news groups, then you might like to have a look at the following news groups:
uk.rec.boats.paddle
rec.boats.paddle
Instructors wanted
As usual, we don’t currently have many qualified instructors in the club. It seems to be a perennial problem that any qualified instructors who do join the club seem to move on to places far afield. If you are interested in gaining any official BCU qualifications, whether this is instructing, refereeing, or life guarding, the club would like to encourage you. We may also be able to provide some financial assistance towards your costs if you will be able to help the club once you have qualified. If you want to know any more, contact anyone on the committee.
In a similar vein, please note that you don’t need to be qualified in anything to be able to help out another paddler in the pool or at the docks. Please take note of anyone new who looks like they could do with a helping hand, and give them some encouragement and advice. This helps to ease the burden on everyone else too. Remember, there was a time when everybody was a beginner!
Spain Summer 1998
See the separate trip write-up: Spain Summer 1998
Conor
[ I haven’t yet got around to writing up the second week of the trip which was in the French Alps … ]
You might be a boater if…
[ Seen on the Internet – Ed. ]
You “pour over” streamflow readings the way a stockbroker scans the markets everyday.
You practically salivate at the sound of rainfall… and will do a ring around of all local weather stations during flood season.
There’s no room on your speed-dial for anything but gauge readings and the numbers of people with nicknames like Psycho.
You paid more for a roof-rack for the boat than you spent for anniversary presents (combined).
You tie down the boat better than you seatbelt in the kids.
“Waterproof” means “a little damp” or “might-float.”
Your friends or relatives are shocked when you answer the phone at home on a weekend.
House guests ask you why you replaced your living room sofa with a sea kayak.
You can’t drive over a bridge without looking for water under it.
The smell of old polypro doesn’t bother you.
A bong hit and a pop tart on the way to the put-in is your idea of breakfast.
Your wife says you love your boat and your boat’n buddies more than her, and she sounds just like your first wife…and your second.
Driving 800 miles for a weekend on the river doesn’t seem strange to you.
Your idea of a complete first aid kit is a roll of duct tape.
Window shade means more than keeping the sun out.
Pearl means more than a gem in a shell.
You use a river trip to rinse seaweed and sand from your boat.
You choose a new car based on whether or not your rack system will fit it.
You think of drinking 12 beers the night before a long Class V run as carbo loading
A dress shirt and tie no longer bother you, because they’re looser than a drysuit neck gasket.
You co-workers (and non-boating friends, family and your spouse) will not ride in your vehicle between April and September (or whatever your boating season is) because of the ode de polypro.
The sight of a waterfall gives you the uncontrollable urge to urinate in a nearby bush- while you search out the line…
You call yer buddies in order of shuttle ability.
It rains when you HAVE to leave home.
You consider 10 hours of worn Gentry video as good entertainment anytime.
Your boat is worth more than your car.
Even in the dead of winter, you never actually lose the PFD tan lines…
Your wife catches you in bed with your kayak…… hard shell or inflatable?
You build your new house as close as possible to the flood plain.
Your dog loves to roll in your pile of paddling clothes.
You’re all dressed up and don’t notice that you’re being rained on.
The word “HUT!” causes an involuntary physical reaction…and you’ve never played football or been in the military.
You ask the clerk at Tom McCann how well these wing tips hold up to immersion.
You measure major purchases relative to the cost of a new boat…(‘Hmmm, that new computer will cost me about 2 ‘ kayak units’)
You paddle a six-mile marathon race and 15 mile sea trip one weekend, then head off on a thousand-mile round trip to a slalom the next weekend (oh, and then another 400 miler to another slalom the next weekend, then a Wildwater race, then …. no free weekends before Christmas now!)
…if you evaluate your New Years Eve date on whether or not they’re mentally and physically tough enough to finish the General Clinton marathon (70 mi.) AND only ask for a second date if you figure they’ll say “Wow! that was great! When’s the AuSable?”
You move to the Midwest temporarily and whine about missing your kayak, more than you whine about missing your boyfriend.
You’re the one with the Bright Sunny Smile on the Cold Rainy Day.
Every once in a while you touch your paddle, just to touch it.
Every once in a while you let go of your paddle, just to eat or something…
When your non boating friends visit your home or your car they ask “Do you have dogs?”
You have no trouble saying “Rotomolded Crosslink Polyethelyne” ten times fast.
The idea of a 15k mile per year car lease seems ridiculous.
You have a bathing suit that’s wet from March to October.
Your Mom has stopped saying “be careful this weekend”.
You’ve never setup a tent when it’s light out.
You’ve tied up your mate using either a taught-line or trucker’s hitch.
You have friends that you don’t recognize without their helmet, pfd, paddling jacket, and boat ensemble…
You can ID make and model on a car topped canoe or kayak at a quarter mile…
“wet, sticky hole” and “blowing a ferry” in casual conversation don’t give you pause…
You always have sinus congestion on Monday morning..
You freely discuss how much you and others weigh, and don’t feel self-conscious about it (or about asking others how much they weigh).
You leave your glasses strap on at night
You have no wax in your ears
Your only considerations when buying a car are ground clearance, and the size of the rain gutters.
All career, personal and financial decisions are judged by the criteria of “How will this increase my paddling time?”
You visit Niagara Falls and think “This may be runnable.”
You build a 2 car garage addition and you still can’t park your car inside.
You bug out on your wife and kids to go paddling for the weekend because you are SURE your priorities are right.
You deliberately watch the whole commercial just to see the kayak on the car…
You manoeuvre your car on five-lane streets by eddying out behind trucks and making S-moves in the left turn lane. And you lean into the turns.
And if yer in West Virginia you have to remind yourself NOT to boof the coal trucks.
If you live in a town with a river running through it, you give street directions with descriptions like “upstream of the …” or “two blocks down on river left …”
You find yourself humming Weather Channel tunes.
It takes longer and longer to get your “land legs” back. Solid ground “feels funny”
You feel all mushy inside when your boyfriend gives you a drytop for Christmas instead of jewellery.
You do your car repair/maintenance in the camp ground in the evening because you haven’t had a weekend home in so long and you can’t afford to pay to have it done.
You might be an OC-1’er if your girlfriend wears black lace thigh straps.
You might be a Grand Canyon rafter if your girlfriend wears black lace crotch straps.
In your truck or car you keep moving the seat forward, so you can bend your knees and feel good and wedged in for pulling maneuvers on the freeway.
You can’t look at water in a gutter without imagining tiny runs and miniature waves and holes.
You start driving around with your PFD and helmet on because you have noticed that other drivers tend to give you the right of way.
Occasionally, if the traffic is particularly bad, you hold up an empty beer when you need to make a left turn. This guarantees the oncoming traffic will stop.
After a car wreck, the first thing you check for is damage to your boat.
Programme
A Programme is attached at the end of this magazine. Please remember to contact the organiser well in advance if you want to go on any of the listed trips. Many of the trips have limited numbers, so they may fill up if you leave it to the last minute. It is also polite to warn the organiser to expect you!