France 2006
Nicknames
Some people think kayaking trips abroad are all about the paddling – which rivers were done? What grade were they? What were the features? Now that’s all very well, but far more important is the gossip…
Jon Kerswell
Nickname Reason
Mat “Marmoset” Jones ‘One of the club’s best paddlers’ showed an uncanny resemblance to the creatures inhabiting the nearby mountains that spend all their time eating and sleeping.
Nick “Jungle Boy” Clendon Following an impressive swim on the first of 3 waterfalls, he leapt off the remaining ones in pursuit of his kit… rumours he was wearing a loincloth and swung from a vine have yet to be confirmed.
“Little” Rich Puttock “Little” following Teresa’s bizarre dream in which Rich started to shrink (though wild speculation has it that the nickname was earned when he ‘accidentally’ dropped his towel whilst changing in front of Lisa G.)
Teresa “Probe” Treasure My cunning tactic of being a gent and allowing Teresa to go first on any tricky looking rapids meant I was able to avoid any pour-overs/nasty stoppers all week.
Stuart “Ouch” Anderton A painful looking 500m swim on the grade IV section of the Bonne (resulting in a trip to casualty) generally caused people to mutter ‘Ouch’ when watching the replay.
Steve Venton A pre-trip rumour suggested Steve would slash a spraydeck if he thought a paddler was attempting something beyond their abilities… I saw him reach for his knife a few times, so he earned the nickname “Slasher”.
Conor “Been here before” O’Neill It was his 200th trip to the Alps and he’s seen and done everything – though a walking guidebook is quite handy!
Mark “Le Bambino” Shackleton Youngest member of the trip and so needed looking after on the rivers by us older, wiser more experienced lot (ahem, thanks for rescuing swimmers and kit all week Mark).
Lisa “Crooked Burn” Gunton Another victim of the Bonne and another nasty swim – Pyranha’s poor moulding of their latest creek boat was to blame.
Jon “Downhill” Kerswell I’m generally rubbish at most things, but I can roll down a hill on a bike no problem (particularly if the German female slalom team is training at the bottom of it).
Okay, okay, we did do some paddling as well…
Fournell & Biasse
By Tuesday me and Mark Shackelton had knocked off most of the local rivers near our campsite and were looking for something with a little extra. The first came in the form of the Fournell.
Fournell
Loaded with confidence, me, Rich Puttock, Steve Venton, Stuart and Mark headed off to the put on for the Fournel. With a few inspections on the way up revealing the nature of the river Stuart decided to take up camera duty and leave us to it. The remaining four got changed and inspected the first section. A short portage followed by a revised put on and we were off. After half a mile of trees, quick water and nasty rocks we got to the first crux of the river. A nice, three piece, section with plenty of room to get it wrong. With the grade of the river steeping up, ‘Little’ Rich ‘Walker’ Puttock decided it was time to get off. Steve ‘Slasher’ Venton issued his disapproval and attempted to take to me and Mark with his rescue knife, but we managed to run to our boats and quickly ran the drop before he could get to our spraydecks.
Me and Mark carried on and ran some excellent tight grade four rapids before the river required further inspection. While attempting to carry out our inspection we came across hordes of wasps (on one side) and bees (on the other) and made a dash for the road to take a wide berth of the local wildlife. We managed to put on slightly above where Stuart was positioned with the camera and run some more excellent rapids.
The river carried on at grade four for another mile before relaxing back as the river arrived at a series of vertical weirs and a good place to practice your boof stroke. With the weirs all successfully run, me and Mark made it safely to the get out, thoroughly please.
Rich ‘Walker’ Puttock, however, had to justify his walking efforts with continued descriptions of himself as a gayboy!
Biasse
Two days later (with even more confidence) me and mark decided the Biasse (rated excellent by the Germans) would be a goer in the current water conditions.
With a shuttle ride from Teresa to the top, following a few inspections, we put on above the first set of drops consisting of two small waterfalls, closed in by walls either side, followed by some rocky rapids. The line was fairly obvious and required a boof to get over a sticky looking hole. Following paper, scissors, rock it was my turn to go first so I happily jump in my boat and broke out (At this point it should be noted that some more time inspecting the line would not have gone amiss). I got pushed directly into the left hand wall and penciled the first drop. A few quick ends and some paddle waving got me out of the first hole upside down. With three attempts I managed to roll up before being pushed into the right hand (slightly overhanging) wall and once again was upside down. I abandoned ship. As my head broke the water I realize I was getting pulled back into the first hole and quickly grabbed my boat and pushed it over the second drop. I managed to climb onto the side of the drop (boxed in falls) and jump off the second fall into the eddy below and swim to the edge. Safely on the bank Mark tied off a line and I went for two more swims to rescue my kit, which was still going round in circles.
Teresa, who had been filming all this, had had enough and took off, leaving me and Mark to look after ourselves.
We managed the next 2 km’s before Mark had a close pin and we both decided it was getting a little to much. With our tails between out legs, and 7km’s of Biasse to go, we took to the road and ran to the comfort of the car parked at the get off.
The day was saved by a gently trip down the Sunshine Run.
Nick “Jungle Boy” Clendon
The Fournel (another perspective)
Rich, Nick, Mark and I decided to have a go at the Fournel. It was supposed to be a small tight stream that was just about able to be paddled. And that was a pretty accurate assessment. We drove high up into the mountains to a hanging valley way above the Durance River. Finding a hydro scheme that diverted all the water meant continuing up higher and higher. There were a series of weirs which calmed the water and stopped the boulders we supposed from getting into the barrage… and so on we went. Finally in the corrie at the top it was all open and there were the wide open sides of the mountains above. We carried our boats down to the river and inspected the first corner.
It was blocked by a tangle of trees and so a portage was immediately necessary. We paddled around 200m or was it 300m… I nearly lost my paddle as I went under a large overhanging boulder, but that was just silly. A corner, and so another inspection, and a pretty sketchy section of technical IV+ which with its pinning potential pushed the grade to a clear V, I reckon. And so Rich and I walked out. 300m of a river paddled – but a good decision nonetheless. The other two completed it all successfully except for the forced portage caused, apparently, by bees preventing an inspection!
Steve “Slasher” Venton
Ubaye “Racecourse”
This most terrifying river was last seen in 2004 devouring 5 Belgian cyclists among the massive rocks and huge holes, never to be done in a kayak I thought, only to be attempted from the safety of a raft and even then it was dodgy.
However I am now an ‘experienced alpine river kayaker (grade 3)’ as in this is my second time here and I have already survived the S bends on the Guisane, so I am talked into paddling it unaccompanied by Belgian cyclists and raft guides but escorted by a motley crew of monkey boys, metal heads, marmoset’s, fish, downhillers, deckslashers and the like so I felt much safer…
On arrival it was actually looking quite tame (all relative of course) and so I decided to go down it. Mat was most concerned to find out I had miraculously escaped a swim so far this holiday and suggested that this was the river I should practise my swimming skills on.
Off we went, most of it was very pleasant grade 3 with lots of boulders and a few holes to contend with. However I managed to find a very large rock to lean into sideways and amazingly escape backwards down some waves and later into a very large hole where I practised my high braces under the water and somehow emerged upright – Mat was not going to have the last laugh. [I can vouch for this series of events as I followed the “Probe” at a safe distance – ed.]
We continued down through the beautiful valley into the gorge under the Roman bridge and down to the get out. Sadly for Mat, my boat and I were still as one – little did I know that he would take his revenge another time on the docks at Bristol Canoe Club’s most feared event of the year, the pub crawl. But that is another story.
So a great trip in beautiful weather surrounded by amazing scenery and no swimmers.
Teresa “Probe” Treasure
Guiltastic
‘Oh it’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you’ penned by Lou Reed at the get off for the Middle Guil in 1972. This comes as no surprise as the Guil is the perfect river.
Believed to have been carved by the hand of God in one of his happier moments whilst high on ‘shrooms & loving the world. He is known to consider it his second finest work after the creation of Wales. Combine this with blue skies, temperatures in the mid 30’s & clear water, you soon realise life doesn’t get much better (ignoring swimming in custard with Girls Aloud after 8 pints & a Chicken Jalfrezi).
Having run the middle Guil two years ago when it was by far my favourite river of the trip I was very excited about getting another chance. Last time we saw carnage with 9 swims, battered limbs & a walk out – & that was just Baldrick! That was earlier in the season & the water levels had been very high.
This time the water levels were low medium so less intimidating but a good opportunity to include the harder Grade 4 (5) Chateau Q & Guardian Angel gorges. Six BCC paddlers did various sections on the day, these being ‘Little’ Rich Puttock, Mark ‘Le Bambino’ Shackleton, Nick ‘Monkey Boy’ Clendon, Stewart ‘Hurt me good’ Anderton, Steve ‘Slasher’ Venton & myself.
First up is the 1km section of Chateau Queyras. An impressive little number with a bit of a reputation. Last time Monkey Boy ran it he was flipped & nearly knocked unconscious, but managed to swim out & had to take a days rest which speaks volumes. We had seen write ups on the web about the final & main drop having changed shape & now being a ledge drop with stopper, but these indicated it is still running ok. We were also advised on our arrival by the departing Pasty Munchers (aka Taunton Club) led by the Love Spoon that they had run it ok but to aim left as a few of them had been slammed into the canyon wall very hard.
We inspect the section from high above peering down into the narrow canyon. There are 3 very large looking stoppers before the final drop, but all are washing with obvious down river V’s. Myself, Little, Monkey & Bambino make our way slowly to the get in. I am feeling decidedly anxious & it is actually a relief in the end to get going. Once committed there is no return as in the gorge there are 60m of sheer sided rock either side. It is a surprisingly easy paddle & great fun, just crashing through the middle of the obstacles.
There are a number of small eddies throughout giving a chance to stop & appreciate the setting with shafts of light filtering down into the cool fissure. I can’t imagine these being there in higher levels. On arriving at the larger eddy above the crux drop we all stop & I make the mistake of discussing lines with some Irish paddlers. Til this point the plan had been to run hard left to avoid the bounce into the wall we had been warned about. However they advise this isn’t necessary & to just paddle straight. I mistakenly think they know what they are talking about.
I pile straight down & get picked up & slammed hard into the right hand wall, just getting my paddles up to protect my face, before drifting down & out of the gorge. Ickle Rich then follows me & gets the same treatment except he flips when leaning away from the wall & rolls after a couple of attempts. Nick & Mark go left & get the line. Nick then mentions that the Irish got to the lip & sharply went left avoiding trouble. I should have known better.
After this we stop with Slasher & Stewart joining us for the next sections plus a random spare paddler from another group.
Next up is Guardian Angel gorge (2.5km) which I expect to be slightly easier but proves otherwise. It is basically a Grade 4 section & a lovely run with one grade 5ish (though probably not at this level) drop at the bottom.
Having already run this section the previous week Slash takes the lead though notably holds back to provide some valuable instruction above the first awkward section. No need to scout we think, Slash seems confident! ‘Head left then right guys & I’ll see you at the bottom’. Off paddle the Lemmings [regional name variation – Marmots (Marmota marmota)]. One by one we battle our way down with Mark getting temporarily pinned & Rich managing a dry roll over an exposed boulder in his path. Whilst ‘questioning’ the line in the eddy below we glance up to see Slash gently gliding down the left hand side with barely a rock in attendance. Suffice to say ‘pinch of salt’ was the byword for future advice.
We arrive at the last crux drop, from which this section of river takes its name and all exit to scout. Looks ok but with unpleasant possibilities if we manage to mess it up. But hey, what are the chances of that! Steve points out the ‘Woodward’ line, no one’s listening. He then paddles down bouncing all over the shop but in one piece & Nick swings the camera to me for comments. I smirk & my fate is sealed, the river fairies assume me too cocky & in need of a good bitch slap. Next up is Nick & though it pains me runs a perfect line, carving off the lip & round the drop, then boofing gently right off the 2nd drop into the eddy. If there had been any Hindu pilgrims around (not sure why there would be) they’d have dropped to their knees & given blessings for their visitation from the golden Hanuman ‘the monkey god’.
Well it looked easy enough so off I go. Land off the first drop & immediately get flipped sideways. Upside down & trying to roll I’m concerned I’ve washed under the undercut. I don’t wait too long before bailing out & swimming up to where I hope there’s air. Luckily I then have time to turn onto my back before the 2nd drop which I just wash through. I grab my boat & swim for the eddy kindly aided by a throw line from the random paddler. Thankfully Slash promptly recovers my paddles & all in all I consider myself very lucky without even a scratch.
Rich & Mark get down well with Mark going for a re-run & Stewart showing some early promise on the swimming front with an exit from his boat on the bottom drop. Again with quick recovery.
We all then head to the get out for some lunch. It’s at this point that the random guy points out the state of his brand new Pyranha Burn. After one river the fittings are coming out & we realise the entire boat is skewiff. He tells us he’s the local dealer for Pyranha boats so will be returning it. Later we check Lisa G’s brand spanking shiny new boat which she has been parading smugly around the docks – it too is out of line & her little face drops. Never mind.
After lunch Nick & Mark paddle the 2km to the start of the middle Guil whilst the oldies re-cooperate on the shuttle. We roll up to see them arriving at the large rapid just above Triple Step which looks pretty scary from the road. After some inspecting they get in their boats & with a shove of his paw Nick leads off. Nick gets a decent line but is paddling hard. This is followed by what I can only describe as the silky smooth paddling of the wunderkind as he gently glides down with an edge here, a stroke there. It’s only his youthful enthusiasm which means he escapes a club court marshal. He has yet to realise no one likes a showoff/decent paddler. Looking at triple steps the undercut looks vicious so both elect to paddle off the curtain on the right. I miss it but have been assured the landing was as fluffy as cotton wool.
It is now late afternoon with the 9km of the Middle Guil still to do. The river & valley are now at their best with the warm low sunshine coming up the valley. With the intense heat of the day dissipating the water by this point is luke warm. This section is idyllic with continuous read & run grade 4 paddling for km after km. Imagine paddling down a very long warm frothy jacuzzi with boulders to miss & you’re somewhere close. Obviously this jacuzzi is on a hillside so the water is shifting adding a frisson of potential danger.
One of the few named rapids is the ‘Staircase’ & on inspection looks to go on the right hand side. Last time I did this in higher water & with different features it was the hardest thing I had ever done & was totally exhausted at the bottom after about 2 minutes. This time we all agree it looks quite easy. We re-consider this assessment in the eddy at the bottom after everyone pinballs every which way down, though with no major incidents.
We carry on down, no doubt with many minor individual epics which I am unaware of. Getting close to ‘The Letterbox’ we break out. Mark then paddles down to get a closer eddy & plays/gets worked in spectacular style. Getting stopped by the stopper he gets flipped, gets his paddles trapped & loses them. He then very impressively hand rolls & makes it to the eddy. A swim here would not have been pleasant! He then runs off & very luckily manages to find his paddles a few 100 yards dowriver. He returns & along with Nick runs the drop.
For most of the group it’s now paddle to the get out though as remembered from the previous trip the river certainly doesn’t let up till you’re off the water. Unfortunately, Stewart wants more & the river is happy to oblige. He gets pinned a short distance from the get out & has a battering swim through a large hole before being rescued further down river. He has some impressive bruises around his shoulders & hips but fortunately nothing more serious. He still maintains a resilient & positive outlook which is great to see.
It is now late evening & we all head back happy to the campsite feeling tired after an exhilarating paddle. I’m even too tired to pick the guitar up, a perfect day for everyone!
Mat “Marmoset” Jones