Golden National Championships 2005
It was a hard days night and I was sleeping like a log
Which as it happened didn’t endear me much to my friend when he arrived early on the morning of the 27/08 en-rout to the National Championships. It didn’t help that the teenager who had wanted a lift too couldn’t hack the pace either, so I was in trouble, again.
To me Worcester racecourse was not the obvious location for canoe championships, how would the contenders manage the jumps? Ah ha but situated by the river and the town’s canoe club it made a convenient campsite.
Marathon paddlers beget marathon paddlers and the event is a family affair with paddlers young and old, boys and girls racing at all levels of the sport. It’s also an opportunity, during the two days of racing, to settle old race scores and catch up on the gossip. With so many competitors and races to cram in the first events started early and races ran all day and fortunately for us all the weather was kind all weekend
Bristol under the leadership of Stevie B had mustered a small but elite contingent, Himself, Tristram ‘Pasty’ Turner and Dr Zoë Tart. Each paddler would complete two races one per day.
Marathon racing has considerable entertainment value even for a mere groupie like myself. In one mixed K2 race the last boat contained a lady in the front paddling for all her worth whilst her male partner wobbled in the rear seat slapping in a support stroke to steady himself every three strokes. It remains to be seen whether the river will ever give up his earthly remains, as surely he must have been clubbed to death once out of sight of the assembled spectators, and buried on the bank. More delightful for the spectator however, is surely the compulsory portage. Exhausted competitors are obliged to leap out of their craft lift it from the water and run along a pontoon before launching back into the river, all in front of the assembled spectators. A well-executed portage can gain a crew valuable time in a race, but this is a tricky manoeuvre. Long boats whilst light, are difficult to handle, and full of water an expensive boat can end up being dragged a long the concrete. Getting along side the pontoon can be difficult if another crew has pipped you to your chosen exit point, this is a race and no one is going to say ‘no, no, after you.’ and then there is leg cramp, together these elements and others ensure that the spectator has plenty to see and in my case record on my red hot camera. I now have an even bigger collection of photos of exhausted and pained licra clad chaps. Worrying maybe in for a lady of a difficult age but not as worrying as the mature, seasoned marathon paddler (from Exeter) who could accurately name all the competitors from my pictures of their licra covered butts.
The dangerous (alleged) father son combo from Bristol dominated their K2 race, first off the start, first to portage and first to finish. Mean while my friend took 4th place in the coffin dodgers race and Dr Zoë Tart so shocked by the full-face make up displayed by the competitors on elite ladies start line failed to finish.
By teatime the day’s races were finished and the award ceremony began, with the Mayor and Lady Mayoress on hand to do the honours. Numerous bored looking teenagers collected medals and assorted awards; clearly the whole occasion was just too tedious for them. Then came the award for Stevie & Tris who pranced and pouted for the camera and snogged the Lady Mayoress, completely unable to disguise their delight at their achievement and pleasure in the golden gongs.
Worcester is a medieval town with quaint timber built buildings that now list at impossible angles. It is possible to enter a pub stone cold sober and at once lurch over uneven floors and up slanting staircases as if you’d been on a bender all day long. With properties that Sir Walter Raleigh might be at home in playing host to the latest techno music things were surreal to start, but with the celebrating gold medallists re-enacting their award ceremony at every turn the evening could rightly be described as high.
Helen