Preview from Episode 1: Star Wars
Long, long ago in a Galaxy far, far away, a Yobbo Alliance of Trainee Jedi Knight sprang up to fight the mighty River Etive, but it was to be a long and arduous battle with the Dark Side of the Force i.e. Nathan who was always present. Many of you will be familiar with this earlier episode of man’s battle against both the Falls of the River Etive, and the Dark Side. But now we find ourselves in 1999 and some of those paddlers who became “Knights of Jedi, were then destined to paddle in places even further away, in a much more foreboding place.
And so it came to pass that Quentin (Ben Qenobi) and the two Droids, Threepints-Aplin and R-2-the-Vet (Kath) who are often found together hydraulic arm in hydraulic arm, made a bond to go forth and paddle the largest Gorge in the World, the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately, Threepints and R-2 participated in a non-Jedi Sport called Para Gliding, and shortly before the great river trip, they went to Spain where the Force is weaker. It might be because Threepints and R-2 aren’t really Jedi knights, (they decided the Etive was too dangerous that day long ago), but sadly young R-2 broken her hydraulic leg on landing the Para Glider.
The Expedition was booked but R-2 could not go, and the hydraulic link between the two droids could not be broken so Threepints was unable to go too. Where could they find a replacement, a man capable of paddling the ultimate river, a man with the strength, character, and a bank balance to boldly go forth and accompany Quentin. “Yes, you can go” said Maria and that was it, no planning, no training, hardly enough kit, and having only paddled the Usk in 18 months, I was off to paddle the Grand Canyon of the Colorado.
Getting there
Our voyage to the Grand Canyon started at 6-00 am, Thursday 27th of May 1999. The voyage commenced not in a boat but the fearful Subaru Impreza of Mark Aplin (Threepints), who very gallantly offered to ensure both Quent and I got on the plane for the next quest of Bristol Canoe Club’s Jedi Knights. Arriving at Birmingham Airport, we started to meet other members of the Jedi crew during the long check in. The plane left Birmingham about 10-25 and I cheerfully sat down next to a guy also from the IT industry, and also a Sales Executive, where we discussed the hard and stressful life in IT Sales but I won’t bore you with that. Upon arriving at Chicago O’Hare, we then had a tedious 3 hour lay over before the next flight to Phoenix which took an even more tedious 3.5 hours a 2 hour drive to the Dart was a distant dream!
Upon arrival in Phoenix, we then had a 130 mile trip to Flagstaff, in a bus towing a trailer and travelling at only 55 mph. Guess which was the most tedious part of the journey? We arrived in a cold Flagstaff quite late at night, and quickly checked into our hotel room and fell asleep. Normal sleep patterns emerged and I then woke up about 6-30 am to change Zach’s (my son) nappy. Shit, who’s that hairy grumpy thing in the next bed. Oh no it’s Quent and I’m off to paddle the Colorado tomorrow.
The first day in Flagstaff was slow, with the main intention to choose our boats and kit them out with padding and ensure foot rests fit etc. We then had one of those highly enjoyable forms of American entertainment (sic), where we had to introduce ourselves to both our group and another rafting group, consisting of middle-aged yanks wanting to see America; oh I so wanted to go to bed!
But bed was not for long, since we had to get up at 6-00am to face the new dawn. But what was that outside .2 inches of snow. We had been told ” . bring T shirts and shorts, everything dries” by the organizer, but here we were being faced with a UK style canoe trip!! Fortunately, after one hour of driving we descended from 7000 feet to about 4000 and experienced a marked change in the weather. The sprits of the group were inversely proportional to the descent, and suddenly people began to smile; well apart from Quent who continued to say ” . I’m gonna die, why did Aplin talk me in to this??”
Lees Ferry
The arrival at Lees Ferry, 15 miles below Glen Canyon Dam, means the beginning of the 14-day trip down 226 miles of probably the most impressive river wilderness in the world. In other words the only way out was down the river, 226 miles away. This moment was quite an awesome experience, especially when we really had no idea what was below. The trip starts off nice and gentle, but during the day we shot Badger Creek(5-8) and Soap Creek (5-6). We generally broke for camp about 3-30pm each day, having started paddling about 8-00 am. That first campsite was nicely positioned on a ledge about the river, with lots of shelter. By 7-30pm dinner was complete, I was totally knackered after 2 beers (old age!) so I left for bed. This became the pattern for us all; in bed by 8-00 and up at 5-30; dawns till dusk just like the druids of old!
River Grading
Just to clarify I have annotated each rapids severity using the American Format. Basically the grade runs from 1-10, and the variance shows the difference between high and low water.
On the second day, we had the first of many hikes, and it was claimed the first was the most technical. Now, I might have long limbs but I’m no climber. But since everyone else was climbing, I went into Lemming mode; I could just see that helicopter coming in now to take me away and join Kath Cotton with a broken leg!! Anyway, we all managed the climb, but errors really could have been disastrous, and it was comforting to know that we had the company of that famous canoeing author Chris Sladden, who is also a medical doctor. Oh by the way, he wants you all to buy a copy of his latest book on Welsh Rivers, and stressed you must not share copies, OK!!!
The first rapids of Day 2 started with Sheer Wall (2) and then the ubiquitous House Rock graded at (7-9). This had a definite line to miss some large snarly water, and massive boils. So out in great Big Bird tradition, the chicken shoot was identified, and both Quent and I went down it!!! The next section was called the Roaring twenties of Marble Canyon, which consisted of some excellent big bouncing rapids, and my confidence was really beginning to build. Remember, the only white water paddling I had done in 18 months was the Usk in February, and whilst Polo was great for rolling confidence, one really didn’t want to throw the paddles and hand roll in 100-700 metre long rapids!
Food, Lunch and Water
The one and only criticism I had of the whole trip was lunchtime. The food throughout the whole 2 weeks was excellent and the guides were so efficient in putting it all together. However, after a large lunch you need time to digest, but wham we were off. I therefore cut down on food during the lunchtime, but we were all encouraged to drink lots of water. Dehydration is the main source of problems in the Canyon. Daily temperatures at this time of year 82-101 F (sorry I got this information from the US guide), and with the Canyon winds and rising hot air from the Canyon floor, everything dries very quickly including you!! We all carried water bottles in our boats, and drank lots during stops. The only problem was that liquid going in, means liquid coming out; sadly wetsuits are just not designed for a quick leak (manufacturers take note)!!!!
Our nest day was a pleasant ride starting with 24 mile rapid (5-6) and Hans (5-7), with some rapids that our Kayak guide BJ described as “surprisingly vigorous”; editor please add to the Canoe Club’s dictionary of terms!!. Points of interest included a waterfall at Vasey’s Paradise, and some excavations for a proposed dam that would remove this amazing part of the Canyon unless the American Senate continues to reject the idea. Apparently, the yanks continue to put bills in front of the Senate to build another dam and block even more of the Canyon. We camped at President Harding about 44 miles into the trip, and that night although we had an excellent Salmon for diner, it poured with rain.
Tents
Now we had a bit of an argument prior to the trip commencing on whether AZRA the rafting company would supply tents. With the bad weather I agreed with Quent that we should get one between us just incase. Well, when it rained I was glad we got a tent, but surprising Quent didn’t share the joy, and choose to build his own tent out of branches and tarpaulins. He claimed he stayed dry but found a scorpion on him the following day poor scorpion! Anyway, at this stage I thought it a good idea to build some close relations with the Guides, so they would look after me in the Land of the Giants (the big rapids later on). So out came my Oban Single Malt purchased on good advice from the trip organizer at the duty free. We stood in the pouring rain in our waterproofs in this amazing desert scenery, drinking some excellent Malt Whiskey, and boy did the guides like it.
Hiking
The following day the weather cleared up a lot faster than the after affects of the whiskey. However, we only paddled to Nakoweap at mile 52, since today was a major hike day. Here, we climbed to the top of the inner canyon walls, and above we could see in the distance the North Rim of the Canyon where snow lay on the top. During many of the hikes we found countless examples of Indian pottery and paintings just scattered about going back to perhaps 100-200AD. The hikes were physically the most arduous activity of the expedition, because of the need to drink far greater quantities of water, and of course carry it.
After camping at Nancoweap where we grilled our own streak (absolutely wonderful), we then had some big days paddling. The big rapids, especially Unca (6-7), where very long and had some interesting holes and reflective waves off the canyon walls to avoid. Unca is a superb rapid that carves into the canyon wall for several hundred meters forming a sheer wall above you of at least 200 metres. By this time our Guide, the ever up for it, BJ, was leading more from the rear leaving us front-runners to be guided by the rafts. To his defence, BJ was simply showing the advance paddling set at the back the more and more difficult holes; this task he called work!!!
At mile 61 the Little Colorado River joins the main stream, and colour of the water begins to change, and the temperature increases. It was quite magical to cross the colour divide and also feel a marked rise in the temperature of the water. The river was then supposed to become the renowned red mud colour, however, this really depends on the flow differential between the two rivers. Needless to say, we preferred the clear waters, rather than the liquid mud we had seen pictures of. Today finished at Rattlesnake Rapid, although none were visible, but I’m sure they were there. Tomorrow was the start of the Land of the Giants, and those worrying feelings started to come back.
Land of the Giants
From Hance onwards we had entered the Gorge section; sounds amazing that they have a gorge within the Grand Canyon, which is already one bloody big gorge. Anyway, Hance (8-10) earned me my first combat rolls on the Colorado. The rapid was typically of most, in that the entry would be smooth and often symmetrical as one passes down the smooth cone, until all hell breaks loose. The best technique that we all adopted was one of simply floating down, and using power strokes to steer, or more often support. As the violence of the rapid subsides, one then encounters the boiling section, and it this section that represents the most difficult support section with low bracing being of particular importance. My roll was following shooting Hance, I entered Son of Hans, only to see a massive hole on the left-hand side. I paddled right to break out in the eddy, but eddies on the Colorado are not friendly places, with strong hydraulics squeezing water up down, left right etc. The edge of my boat caught the eddy, and I was upside down, inside the smooth quiet calm of the Colorado. My first attempt at rolling caused the same effect, and I went over again, into that smooth calm of the underwater world. This time I rolled up ready with a brace, and was greeted with the frenetic noise of the rapid. Forget eddies and breakouts, I paddled sharply back into the current, leaving break out techniques for the Dart!!!
A mile downstream we hit Sockdolager (8-9) which again was massive, and I simply remember big water, big waves, and when will this end!! But it was Horn Creek (9-8) that looked scary especially from the upstream vantage. However, by this time confidence was up, so I got in the boat as third man down (which I know is unusual for me!!) and got the line perfect from left to right, and roller coasted down. That night we camped about mile 91 happy in that we had all performed well on some of the biggest rapids of the Colorado; but tomorrow was even bigger!
Prickly Pear
One little incident for this day was a typically short but sharp hike up the cliffs from Grape Vince Rapid. This was were I wished I had Crispin’s sticky hands, since it was a difficult climb for an old man like me. However, this short anecdote came from sliding down a rock only to land on a ledge with a nice large prickly pear cactus. Please note well these hurt, and the spikes take ages to get out. But just to demonstrate the willingness of the Guides to please, one (who will be nameless) volunteered to use his forceps to pull them all out .; I politely declined and proceeded scratching for some time afterwards. Comments like “you must feel a prick” made the event even more enjoyable!!
Chicken Shoot Quent
Friday the 7th of May was to be our biggest day so far. The day started quickly with “Granite” the 2nd biggest rapid and what most of the guides described as the most difficult. The rapid itself is very wide with a long slow left-hand curve against a granite wall. The entry is pretty straightforward following a wide tongue into a roller coaster of unpredictable waves, with some massive holes particularly to your right. There was a much simpler route which incorporated sliding down the left hand banks and encountering some “Upper Dart” type rocky rapids, but Granite was Granite and it had to done properly. Well, that was what I thought, until Quent shoved off and slid down the left-hand side barely getting his boat wet. This offered a perfect opportunity, if I could survive the rapid then I could spend the next 8 days ( the rest of our lives) pulling Quent’s leg about taking the “Chicken Shoot”; the Canoe Club may even forget my skillful lines in Norway some years ago. Needless to say I took the main shoot and it really was a hell of a ride; the biggest wave forcing me vertical and I just managed to flip the boat over the top to remain “sturdily upright”, going into the next wave train.
The Questions you all ask?
With all this mega water paddling, one’s bowels were certainly able to move! The number one rule in the Canyon is that “everything that goes in the Canyon must come out”. The only sort of exception is that one freely contributes to the Colorado’s water flow, however all solid wastes have to be stored. At each camp, a quiet spot was chosen to erect the “Groover” or toilet. Its know as the Groover because in olden times, the boaters would take old metal ammunition type storage boxes for the solid wastes, which after having “rested” on the sharp sides one received grooves down each buttock. Well on this trip it was a little more civilized in that we had a toilet seat, but all the waste still went in metal boxes. When each box was “full”, it was sealed and stored on the rafts.
As I have mentioned water was something we were “nagged” into consuming vast quantities since dehydration was a big problem down here. All water was filtered from the river, so each night we would take it in turns to filter the water through a hand pump. Each paddler was assured of more Karma points (see later) for this activity.
Amazingly, we were eating meat right through the 14 days. All food was stored in these large freezer chests which sat in the rafts. Obviously being close to the water kept them cool, but frozen food was available all the way though. The food each evening was absolutely superb, and each guide took their turn has head chef.
More Big Rapids..
So with Granite gone it was on to Hermit where we had a big lay over. Just upstream Mike one of the Guides had broken into an eddy and hit a rock, which punctured his raft. This meant effort deflating and repairing but also we could have multiple goes on Hermit well apart from Quent who still sat their worrying! Hermit was one of the more symmetrical rapids that followed a line of haystacks that gradually get bigger. The flow level that we ran the rapid was well down but one still got a hell of a buzz, especially with superb weather shining down on you.
Following Hermit is the infamous Crystal. Crystal rapid lies at Mile 98 between black cliffs deep within the Inner Gorge. With rare exception, side canyons depositing boulders into the river cause all the rapids in the Grand Canyon. Crystal was born on December 1966, after fourteen inches of rain fell in 36 hours. A thousand-year flood caused a three-storey wall of muddy water and boulders to roar down Crystal Creek and dump tons of rubble in the river path. Much of this rapid would have been washed away prior to the erection of the dam and the considerably higher spring flows. However, today Crystal remains one of the most difficult rapids capable of flipping large rafts with a massive muncher in the middle followed by a difficult rock garden below for unfortunate swimmers.
Crystal offers two routes down at this flow level; the obvious chicken shoot along the Right Bank that allows the paddler to skirt around the massive hole. Quent and I took this route, although Quent’s idea of skirting round the hole left little room for error as the video testifies. The left-hand route was difficult to scout although most other paddlers took it without too much difficulty.
Following Crystal we entered the Jewels stretch including Sapphire, Spectra etc. They were hardly straightforward rapids, but commenced with up to 50 metres of long green tongues before WOSH!!
Eddies
It is perhaps worth reflecting that Eddies in the Big Ditch are not normally Canoe Friendly places. A breakout from a fast wave takes you across the eddy line into a chaotic mass of boiling water, which fall and rise at erratic rates. The boils themselves are often much larger than you canoe, and often force you to forward or back ward surf down the rapidly forming sphere of water. I found the best technique was concentrate on low bracing, and leaning forwards to ensure the back end did not get sucked down. For me the boiling mess at the bottom of each rapid was the most difficult section, especially when you’ve completed a massive wave train, you’re adrenaline is pumping and you begin to relax .. then you become susceptible to the boils!
Specter
The Campsite that night was idyllic perched up on some rocks with excellent views up and down the Canyon. The light changing the colour of the rocks as the sun set in the morning, and of course rose in a different direction the following morning. The following day was supposed to be easy, but when we arrive at Specter Captain Scarlet was no where to be seen. Furthermore, Corrin became suddenly very nervous about running what was a massive imposing wave. We watched PJ and one or two others run the rapid, and each one was lifted vertically and some how were able to flick over the other side as a pole-vaulter in the Olympics. Corrin became more nervous so I took out my coaching qualification and said I would show her the left-hand route and skirt down the chicken shoot. The route was relatively simple, in fact quite good to rattle around a few rocks, but a wave hit me and washed my contact lens out of position. Frankly, I didn’t have a clue which route I took after that. Anyway my valiant nature didn’t pay off, since Rich then talked Corrin into following him and she had an excellent run through the big one. Then came Quent who took the big wave train, and I then had to listen to things like “I earned my suicide Monday Club T-shirt today”, “This is why I came to the Canyon”, “God, that was amazing ., but I’m still gonna die!”.
Old Man has Two Women in a Waterfall
Later that day having survived Waldorf rapid which as a very wide and full volume rapid, we broke for a short hike up to a waterfall. Here we were told of recovering with a smooth back massage; this consisted of lying on one of airbeds and letting the water poor down on your back. The sensation of which felt like it was taking you’re skin off. Anyways we then ended up having group photos in the waterfall, before I managed to get Corrin and Angie to grab the unsuspecting Quent into the waterfall, and I’ve pictures to prove it!!!!!
Nazi Death March
Following the mega rapids of the last two days, the next couple of days were more hiking orientated. Day 9 was a hiking day though Topitz Creek, into Surprise Valley and down through Deer Creek. Doesn’t sound much but remember the scorching heat, the lack of shade, and the very dry climate led to a very exhausting day. Quentin’s training by Dennis as the “Old Mountain Goat” on Dartmoor put him in good shape for this Nazi Death March, but for us company car drivers I would sleep very well that night. On this hike we climbed up one creek across the top, and down another. The Kayaks were transported through what’s called the Narrows (the narrowest part of the canyon) a couple of miles where we then picked them up. The hike though was especially marvellous on the way down as you come down this very wavy creek which was only several metres wide, but many more metres deep. Along the sidewalls we saw pictures of hands; these were formed by the Indians who would place their hands on the wall and blow paint across them to represent their immortality. At the end of Deer Creek we come out onto a ledge several hundred feet above the Colorado with the water plunging down into a vertical waterfall, and having this amazing view around the Canyon.
Back at the River, we then had to climb aboard the rafts for my one and only experience of white water rafting on the Colorado. I have to say it was quite good fun, but hard work having to keep bailing the raft. That night we all got quite drunk, with Dave passing around his Cardoa single malt. Fortunately, we were allowed an extra hour in bed so we slept until 6-30!!
The following day started with hike up Makapaba Creek and then a short paddle before lunch. After lunch we faced “Upset Rapid” which is apparently the last but one of the “big rapids”. Upstream the rapid looked no different to any others, so we all piled down taking care of a reflective wave from the LHS. At the bottom we were faced with a massive breaking wave, which I managed to scull over some how and then faced the usual post rapid boils. Lower down we again left the boats to hike up to Paradise Creek. This time though I was not quick enough following the guides who scrambled off trying to keep up with Quent. I missed the trail and ended up scrambling up the Grand Canyon by myself, which meant having to return down a steep scree slope where some other members of our trip were following me! Eventually, we got back on the trail, which was by no means easy, having some very treacherous traverses across scree slopes. Again, I can only emphasize that the hikes were by far the most challenging physically, and most dangerous activities of the fortnight.
The best Hike of the lot
Probably the last hike was both the biggest and most spectaculars. The hike up Havasu Canyon was scheduled for a full day, and required everyone to keep the pace to ensure a successful return. Havasu is a massive side canyon, which tourist can climb down from the rim, however most stop at Mooney’s Falls. The Canyon hike takes you through this beautiful section containing magnificent pools of turquoise water cascading down waterfalls. Further up we entered a green haven full of vegetation which was in complete contrast to the arid lands of the Colorado. The vegetation consisted of wonderful grape viney things, trees, and loads of magnificent red and yellow beaver cacti in full bloom.
The epitome of the hike was entering Mooney’s Falls. This area consisted of a massive waterfall some 200 feet high, which plunges into a wonderful turquoise pool, where everyone took for a swim. The cliffs around the falls had this grotto type formation as the mud became calcified into a rock formation. Sadly, this area is quite popular and was full of tourist from the “outer world”, who hiked down for the day. The return hike was not quite so arduous being down hill, but apart from the rattlesnakes we saw all our minds began to focus on tomorrow and Lava!
Canoeists Karma
I cannot describe fully how helpful, friendly and motivational all our guides were on this trip. Each had many stories to tell about previous canyon trips, the spills, the problems, and the laughs they had. But all were resolute in the “Karma” story, and how important it was to get your Karma points by helping with the dishes or filtering water. Those that did not get their Karma points were destined for disaster on the Grand Canyon, and many anecdotes were told in evidence of this fact. So this evening everyone was falling over themselves to wash up and filter water because tomorrow was Lava, the biggest rapid on the Grand Canyon, and described as a 10 at ALL levels.
The morning started with a very foreboding lecture of the routes through Lava. PJ built a model in the sand of the rapid and explained in detail the routes, pitfalls, and NO GO areas! Watching the group everyone became subdued and full of apprehension, I was no exception so I went off and did some more washing up!! We had 13 miles to paddle that morning of Wednesday May 11th, so we had at least a warm up. But eventually, the big roar from the mighty rapid became audible, and we climbed up the black scouting rock on the right hand side to see the awesome sight.
Looking from the safety of land the rapid look frightening. BJ took the lead and showed how to float along the right hand eddy line so you missed the massive top hole. But then the following wave gave you a massive stuffing, before drifting towards the right hand whirlpool. Richie showed us all how not to do it by entering the whirl pool He then had to skillfully paddle upstream as hard as he could, and just managed to break free into the main current and slide over a massive lower wave reflecting off a massive rock below. My nerves were at breaking pint, and the thought of a swim in this was forcing me to walk. But then, Quent who scouted the rapid from the left just got in his boat, ferried over to the right and off he went. Clean through the two waves and fighting to keep the boat upright he surfed the bottom wave over to the left hand eddies. So the decision was made, if Quent did it I couldn’t face the Bristol Canoe Club if I walked around. I watched Graham take the left-hand course, and he ended back surfing down through most of it, making it look no better then the right hand side.
I got into my boat, Corrin and Dave were telling me to do it. I sat there, should I do it, or should I take the honorable route and walk. Dam it I’m off. I floated down the eddy line and saw this massive hole in front of me. Instantly, I thought I’m too far left get over. Boosh, through the first wave, but now I had to get left else I’ll end up in Richies’ line. I put a hard left hand reverse stroke in which slowed the boat so I could eye up the route, and paddled like I’ve never paddle before. Amazingly, I just skirted around the second wave and the third, and ended up safely in the left-hand eddy screaming my head off. Other paddlers came around me screaming “Kayak” and “well done”, since it seems I got the cleanest line missing the major obstacles. I saw Quent coming down the bank with a grin on his face, so I jumped out the boat and ran over to him and gave the “other” Old Duke of the Jedi a big hug!! Apparently, Quent was more frightened of me hugging him, then paddling the rapid.
Several other paddlers re-ran the Rapid, or took the rafts, which offered a hell of a ride. Me, I just sat there over lunch with a big smile on my face, content that I paddled the biggest rapids on the Grand Canyon, and had successfully paddled the RIGHT HAND SIDE OF LAVA, truly earning Jedi Knight status. We also discovered later that when we paddled Lava, the flow rate was one of the highest of the year at around 40,000 cfs
Post Lava
After Lava we had two days of paddling through some ever-changing scenery, but it became a slow anti-climax. The rapids still kept us on our toes, and now I was paddling into wave trains I would have avoided over a week ago. The last full days paddling to mile 220 was very hard against a grinding upstream wind. On the Friday around 11-00am we got to Diamond Creek the final egress point. Diamond Creek follows around Diamond Peek, the summit of which is at the same elevation as Lees Ferry some 226 miles up stream. We now had to dismantle the rafts and pack all our kit into trucks for the long grind up a dirt track and back into civilization. That night we would have showered many times to get rid of the mud before meeting in Flagstaff for a farewell dinner. The following morning we left early for Phoenix and the long arduous flight home.
Conclusion
Some of you may have seen the pictures and the videos from this trip which contributed to the many memories of the canoeing, the people on the trip, and the magnificent Canyon itself. During a quiet moment in my day, my mind often returns to some point in those 14 days. I then become transformed back into the wilderness to re-live some of those memories, which were so different to my daily life. I wonder if I will go back, or will the Force take me to new places?????
Mark Gillett – Jedi Knight