 | Bristol Canoe Club Magazine Summer 1997 |
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Chairpersons letter
Well the summer is here, there is no water in the rivers, and we are all doing very little canoeing, however we have lots going on. First off, the Annual General Meeting has been planned now for SATURDAY 18th October 1997. Now that sounds a long way off, but we need to have some volunteers for the Committee. Regrettably, both Lisa and myself will be resigning from the Committee due to demands of work (yes students that W.O.R.K!!), and Conor will be standing down as the Treasurer. So now it’s your turn! If you want to see what, Power, Influence, Social Prestige a Committee Member enjoys, them come and talk to one of us.
Much discussion is being made on and off the Committee about equipment. The Club currently owns a range of canoes from marathon, slalom, to pool/polo designs. Furthermore, we have an ever-disappearing range of personal equipment. The view of the Committee is that personal equipment is only for beginners and new members, or those people participating in the youth section or our annual training courses. If you’ve been canoeing some time, or are playing polo regularly, its your responsibility to furnish yourself with a paddle, spray deck, and buoyancy aid. With over 112 members their is always somebody replacing kit, so if you need equipment put a WANTED advert in the magazine.
I am pleased to report that our Youth section have obtained a grant for more equipment, and with the increasing number of people involved, proves the emergence of a new section within the Club. Well-done Rob and the other instructors involved in this Group.
Our facility at the Baltic Wharf is being improved. Some of you will have noticed the re-appearance of our slalom gates, which have been refurbished after over eighteen ears of service. We have also added a feature to hold polo goals for mini-matches and training. These gates will be locked, and the rope fitting stored in the locker, to ensure they are not damaged or non affiliated canoeists use them. Justin Sims our Equipment Officer will be organising better facilities for hanging equipment in the cage. It is most important that when equipment (spray decks and buoyancy aids) is replaced in the Cage, it is hung out to dry. Furthermore, when replacing boats:
Make shore they are locked on so that no damage is caused to other boats (this has in fact happened to a Marathon Boat) and that during high winds the boats are not blown off.
Finally, we will be running the Adult Training course starting on July 3rd. If any of your friends, enemies, or acquaintances are interested please get them to contact me. See you on the surf_.
Mark Gillette, BCC Chair
New Youth Section
The new Youth Section kicked off at the beginning of may (see the new BCC-Youth Section mag) and it’s been great fun. Rob, Dave and I have been turning up on Tuesday evenings at 6.00 and taking a group of between eight and twelve kids on various activities. If you want to help, contact Rob or Dave. We’ve been given a grant for £500 by the City Council to help us with start up costs. This is a great opportunity to get some coaching hours in, or to see if you enjoy working with kids, and we’re always keen to see volunteers to help out. –
Nick
| 2nd | Justin Sims |
| 4th | Conor O’Neill |
| 10th | Mark Aplin |
| 12th | Kath Cotton |
| 16th | Lisa Gunton |
| 17th | Paul Coyne |
| 18th | Mark Gillett |
Karting
Many thanks to Paul Coyne for organising a trip to the Kart track at Portishead on 6th June. Seven members of the canoe club attended, together with some hangers on. The heats were keenly fought, with Mark Aplin playing bumper cars, and managing to turn his kart over! Justin was doing well at impressing his girlfriend, and got the best result in the heats. Mark Gillett was too busy trying to save petrol and came last in almost everything. Results after the heats in the table:
The positions in the heats provide your placings for the start of the semi-finals. Then the top six the race in the final. Justin was on pole position, followed by Ronan O’Neill, with Mark Aplin in 4th position. After a keenly fought battle, the event was won by Ronan O’Neill, with Mark Aplin in third place. Justin managed to lose three places and unluckily ended up fourth. Great fun was had by all, so thanks to Paul for organising it.
Conor.
| Name | Paddle Rolling | Hand Rolling | |||
| 1 | Justin Sims | 1 | 6.64 | 2 | 5.57 |
| 1 | Pete England | 1 | 5.46 | ||
| 2 | Simon Reid | 2 | 6.97 | ||
| 3 | Simon Curtis | 3 | 7.19 | 4 | 6.07 |
| 3 | Nathan Scott | 4 | 7.34 | 3 | 5.61 |
| 5 | Mark Gillett | 5 | 7.80 | 7 | 6.66 |
| 5 | Paul Niblett | 14 | 10.29 | 5 | 6.10 |
| 6 | Tim Johnson | 6 | 8.43 | ||
| 6 | Harvey Lyons | 7 | 8.76 | 6 | 6.24 |
| 7 | Andy Millener | 11 | 9.49 | 7 | 6.66 |
| 8 | Dylan | 8 | 8.80 | ||
| 9 | Mark Healey | 9 | 9.31 | ||
| 9 | Paul Coyne | 13 | 10.20 | 9 | 7.82 |
| 10 | Jan Prior | 10 | 9.46 | 12 | 9.91 |
| 10 | Kath Cotton | 12 | 9.73 | 10 | 8.44 |
| 11 | Lisa Gunton | 15 | 11.66 | 11 | 8.90 |
| 16 | Chris Hewer | 16 | 13.90 | ||
| 17 | Gary Sweet | 17 | 20.55 |
Rolling Competition Results
A Rolling competition was held in the pool on 19th March. As in previous years, the format is simply to measure the time taken to perform three complete rolls. You have a choice of either paddle rolling, or hand rolling, with each event being considered separately. You may try as many times as you wish; only the best times are listed. The results will go towards this year’s Phil Longrigg Trophy. I have listed a combined position, which is simply your best position in either the paddle rolling or the hand rolling. Well done to all who entered.
Fish of the Year
I nominate Ben Wainwright, for showing off his rolling the other Tuesday at the Youth Section, and fluffing his roll. Serves him right for showing off.
Editors Bit
This spring saw the launch of the new Youth Section, and we decided to include a separate Youth Section Newsletter with the magazine. Ben has volunteered to edit it for us, and is will be looking for articles and pictures to include. To go along with the new section, we’ve got a new look front page.
Apologies for the late arrival of this issue, the news desk has been very busy with real life. Thanks to all the regular contributors. If you have pix or floppies that you have given me and not had returned,nag me next time you see me. I can’t guarantee that it’ll do any good, but it’s worth a try
Nick
White Water
Suicide Monday Club does the Rheidol.
Due to expected lack of water on Monday, Quent and myself (Nathan) waited until Tuesday (20.5.97) and attempted the Afon Rheidol (near Aberystwyth, South Wales). For those who have never heard of the Rheidol here is the description (in part) given in Terry Storry book, _The Rheidol Gorge is one of the most serious rivers in this guide… The canoeing is highly technical and potentially very dangerous… (50 meters of rope required).
The Rheidol is a dam controlled river and is given a 5f grade with the normal low release level, paddling this stretch in high water is not recommended. However, I suspect that on our visit the level was slightly less than optimal. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately for Quent who was feeling quite anxious over the prospect of paddling this river) transport restricted us to the upper section (3 km of 5e paddling, supposedly). I myself was beginning to feel quite anxious when I discovered that my helmet was missing. Quent exclaimed he would not paddle this on his own and not wishing to spoil the day I decided to paddle on the proviso that if things were to get too manic we could shuttle Quent’s helmet back and forth (never mind that it didn’t fit and the difficult sections were separated by near impossible portages!).
The river (which looks like a summer stream) starts at Ponterwyd where the first obstacle is a man made weir (4c) that Quent portaged and I bumped down, which wasn’t worth effort. Next up is Ponterwyd Gorge (5e) with an initial 3 metre drop (I wasn’t convinced about the grading here). The first major drop is Frank’s falls (5e) which looks hideous from the top but more straight forward from the bottom. Without helmet I decided a portage was in order, but as portages go this seemed to be a good 6f and almost certainly more dangerous and more difficult than the fall itself. Further excitement was found with a long tight (less than 3 ft wide in places) boulde r field which took us to our get out at Parson’s bridge. By luck alone we narrowly caught sight of Parson’s bridge and just made the last brea k out before total committal to the rest of the Rheidol.
We had a bit of time spare at the end and decided to investigate Gyfarllyd Falls. The guide book describes this as “an awesome waterfall onto rock which must be portaged by abseil (50 m rope required)”. This is no joke, we risked our lives just getting into a position where we could view this fall. The fall itself is probably about 30 ft. (10 m) onto a large flat rock and then off into an impassable boulder choked sump – if the fall doesn’t kill you the sump will!
All in all the Rheidol seemed to be either easy or manic by extremes and it was quite obvious that the only way out is down and if you are unfortunate enough to need assistance helicopter rescue would be required. That said it is a very impressive river to have ticked off the guidebook and I am looking forward to completing the entire river (next time with a helmet).
Nathan
Scotland Frostbite Tour – Easter 1997
Many thanks to Mark Aplin for organising the Scotland trip this year. Mark booked a magnificent castle for us to stay in; 12 beds, a huge ‘great hall’, and even its own chapel-utility room. Those attending were Mark Aplin, Kath Cotton, Quentin Nichols, Conor O’Neill, Lisa Gunton, Mark Gillett, Nathan Scott, Janet Adcock, Mike Millington, Keith Waterhouse, and Ian something.
Here follows various river reports that were written during the trip. They might be accurate, but they might not, depending on the amount of alcohol consumed by each author at the time…
Sunday – River Blackwater – Mike Millington.
Working on the practice of getting things over and done with first, I shall start this Bristol Canoe Club (plus guests) Scotland Frostbite tour Diary off to a flyer. Despite some scepticism we are actually staying in a full blown castle; arrow slits, canons, claymores, and pistols in the bathroom. (Like pistols at dawn, but different). Anyway, I really can’t be bothered to tell you about the intricate details of arriving up here, but for the record, mine and Ian’s trip from York was fast, comfortable, warm, and sunny, without any problems. Boring, but wait until you hear about Mark Gillett’s trip!!!! Anyway, Day 1. No water, howling gale – good start!! The Blackwater (as mentioned on News at 10, and The Telegraph with a canoeist trapped for 24 hours) – a lot of potential. Anyway, a fine trip, with statistics as follows:
- 2 x Grade IV gorges. Very amusing, quite testing, bit low (personal opinion, as I feel others may disagree).
- Lisa swam and lost boat and paddles (well, for long enough for Mark to drive to the bottom and get a new set just to arrive back and find Lisa’s have reappeared).
- Kath. Two rolls.
- Nathan. Two vomits. (It could be more, but these were the witnessed upchucks).
Very pleasant, and capped off with a sprint to the top of the hill at the back of the castle. It felt further than it was, we were tired (especially Keith ‘allegedly’) (to be denied later by Janet). The evening began with an in-depth discussion of various noises emanating from Janet’s room. Of course all this began after the ‘Dot Cotton’ of BCC (Lisa) began spreading vicious (and, it seems, incorrect) rumours.
Monday – Lower North Esk – Conor
We’ve been told that this river is up after meeting a knowledgeable local (the Findhorn access person) yesterday. By the time we got there, the sun had come out, so we all sat at the get-in sunbathing by this nice grade II.
A mile or so of this water, to rub the last few millimetres off Nathan’s boat. We then get into the gorge section. This is picturesque, with lots of twisty narrow turns, but nothing hugely difficult. The notable rapids are ‘the cascade’ and the ‘rock of solitude’. The cascade was chunky, but easier than it first looked, just needing a straight run through. Mark A broke out half-way down, which looked decidedly accidental, but Mark claims was planned.
Towards the end was the ‘rock of solitude’. This has a lead-in which would be problematic in high water, but OK at this low level. This leads over a ski-jump drop of about six feet, into a narrow gulley. We had some spectators to entertain here, so most of us behaved ourselves, except Lisa, who did the drop perfectly, then jammed herself sideways in the gulley, resulting in a swim. Also, Mark A got caught sideways against the wall and rolled.
This was the last biggish rapid, with just a few more bits to the get out. As usual this is a steep climb up to the car to make sure that our legs are as tired as our arms. The brave hardy few then went off for a walk! The more sensible few just went to a tea shop, and then stopped off at the pub nearest the castle on the way home. Unfortunately, the other car loads all turned up at the same pub, so we entertained them by buying lots of whisky, then rolling back to the castle for a veggie curry (with extra beefburgers!)
Tuesday – Findhorn Gorge – Conor
Still no rain, so off to do the Findhorn Gorge. A long drive over the mountains – just the thing for a hangover. Get in at Randolph’s Leap. The cowards decided to portage. The foolhardy lot hummed and haa-ed, and then ………..decided to portage too.
The first event was Keith surprising us (and himself) by swimming on a boily wave. The next major rapid provided lots of video opportunities, but Quent complained that we mostly took the chicken shoot line which was hidden behind a rock. All survived OK here.
Another big rapid, so another inspection. Mark A decides that the right hand side is the correct line, because that’s where he paddled last time. Nathan reckons a ‘boof’ over the left side is a better idea. Nathan went first – perfect. Mark then demonstrated his stopper plunging technique with a tumble and then a roll. Much hilarity, but he’s OK. The rest of us took Nathan’s advice (unusually!), making it uneventful.
Another portage for us all later on at the ‘Fish ladder’, on the cowardly grounds that it has been known to kill people. Another longish rapid cause no problems until the bottom stopper, where Kath demonstrated two rolls, and Lisa one. Finally, after a brief ‘friendly’ chat with a fisherman (‘get back to where you belong’ he said), Mark G decided to lead down a little section. Foolishly, I followed, and demonstrated that if I really try I can remember how to roll on whitewater.
The end provided another grade-six get-out. It started raining just as we got changed! Mark A decided not to drive down to the farm house after the car shuttle, prompting the comment from Kath: ‘I didn’t realise I was going out with a dick-head’.
We had booked dinner at 7.30 at the local pub, and we managed to get there by eight. After insulting the owner by calling her a waitress, we obtained a very nice meal and lots of beers. Much merriment was had by all, especially Nathan, who won the sweepstake estimating how much the total bill would be. Lisa drove Mike’s car home, and claims that the pub won’t notice that their (large) flower pots were moved by the car bumper!
Wednesday – River Etive – Nathan
The middle Etive – Mike, Quent, Mark (G, aka ‘Big Bird’), Ian, and myself (Nathan) paddlers; Conor, Lisa, Keith and Janet (part time) made up bank support. The river started fine, but Big Bird and Ian were not too confident. In fact Big Bird needed lots of reassurance that it was OK (we lied!). First drop (Triple falls) seemed to be quite straightforward (at least, I thought so), so I fought through the meat of it. Mike did the same, of course making a better job of it. Quent et al. Took the easier ‘chicken shoot’ on river left. Still feeling confident I stupidly shot the next major (10 feet) drop into the meat of it, almost a big mistake as the boat pointed upwards for some time! Decided to advise shooting this one just left of this huge stopper which caused Quent to hit his elbow (good job I gave him some elbow pads!). Next fall I demonstrated stopper skills. Dropped over and found the river bed with the nose of the canoe whic h jetted me sideways into th e stopper. I sat there for a while (side surfing) and as nobody offered me a pull-out I decide to pull the deck. I almost forgot where it was – first time in two years!
Crack of Doom (sounds much better than it was), walked the top section (I’d lost my bottle by now). Mike in the lead now. Crack of Dawn – walked. The Great Water slide (20 feet). Confidence back, I made the break-out (mid drop) and took a good line avoiding the stopper. Mike and Quent (did they bugger it up? Yes!) Took a line through the meat (fortunately getting away with it – well, Quent always does). Right-angle falls (the reason we were all here – minus Gillett); 30 feet into a f***-off stopper. Microbats went first – Mike, myself, then Quent. Excellent lines (not really – there is NO LINE).
Mike disappeared for what I thought was a long time, then reappeared stage right upside down. Well, Mike got away with it, so I went next, same story. Quent next – line the same, appeared same place upside down. However, the old fool has trouble rolling so I pulled him up by the scruff of his neck – he had at least three attempts to roll. Next victim – Ian; could it get worse? F***ed up the drop off the rock at the top, broadside at the lead in, and then smashed up against the left hand side rock face. Straight back into the meat and disappeared for what seemed forever. Mike thought he could help but Ian (drifting out of the danger zone) grabbed him and nearly had Mike out of his boat.
Next, almost beyond belief, Big Bird decides to have a go. Straight into the meat, upside down, right way up, who knows which way he was? Straight up against the right hand rock face, then behind the fall. Stood on a ledge hyper-ventilating. Having been there for at least an eternity, Mike told him to swim out. Big Bird then disappeared under water and up against the right hand rock face (I shat myself) only to reappear downstream and out of trouble. F*** me – we all got away with it. Only one river worse than this – the Plym.
Thursday – River Roy (upper and middle) – Conor
Bloody freezing. Snow falling on the mountains on the way. Snow falling and a harsh wind while we waited for the car shuttle. We rushed the first mile or so because of the cold. Kath entertained us by rolling on a trivial eddy line. After about half an hour the snow stopped and the sun came out. At ‘Wish you were here’ Keith sent his boat down without himself in it, and caused a 15 minute effort to rescue the boat from a pin. Mark ‘Trainee Jedi Knight’ lost lots of status by portaging this, while Lisa ‘potential Jedi Knight’ gained status by paddling it.
The Roy is a lovely river. The gorge gets tighter, and in some places difficult to see what’s coming up. We all portaged a dangerously undercut drop, and Nathan demonstrated a hand roll on the next drop. A little further on a river-wide diagonal stopper gave us all another grade-VI portage. A tricky stopper just after this gave Kath a swim too. The river then settles into a nice gorge, reminiscent of the French Alps, which we all bounced down. Kath was obviously feeling keen, because she managed yet another roll.
The upper Roy ends at a wooden bridge (confusingly known as ‘stone bridge’!?). We continued down the middle Roy, which was much easier, down to Roy Bridge. At 4.5 hours this trip is by far the longest of the week. We were very lucky that the weather improved. The evening was rounded off by a fireworks show provided by Mark A. Just remember not to employ him as a safety officer in any future events!
Friday – The Tummel – Nathan.
Group minus Mark A and Kath. It was shit. Oh, Quent cocked it up and (possibly) broke a rib. Ian broke his neck (wishful thinking, I’m afraid). Mike f***ed it up. Lisa f***ed it up. Big Bird had a perfect line but had his head ripped off. Keith put in mid way (why?). Conor and myself hit a perfect line. And it was snowing.
| 1st | Ian | 240 |
| 2nd | Mark-A | 62.5 |
| 3rd | Keith | 51 |
| 4th | Mark-G | 26 |
| 5th | Lisa | 20 |
| 6th | Quent | 18 |
| 7th | Janet | 15 |
| 8th | Mike | 10 |
| 9th | Kath | 9 |
| 10th | Nathan | 5 |
| 11th | Conor | 2 |
Fish of the week.
As is customary in these events, we kept a score of ‘happenings’, to decide the fish of the week. This is adjusted by taking into account the number of times each person has been on similar trips, so that experienced people (who should know better) get clobbered with high points. The end results are in the table
Chunder of the week.
No competition really – Nathan for Sunday morning, followed by Sunday afternoon after getting off the river.
The petrol saga…
Mark G is well known for ensuring that he pays the minimum possible for any petrol – a laudable policy. On the last Scotland trip Mark went to great lengths to search out a Tesco’s at Carlisle to fill up at. Mark demonstrated his organisational credentials on the day before this year’s Scotland trip by running out of petrol at home. He filled his car with a newly-bought petrol can, and then set off to Scotland. Carlisle is 275 miles from Bristol, and Mark was very sure that he could fill up at the same Tesco’s again. So sure, in fact, that he passed three service areas just before Carlisle, even after his ‘low petrol’ light (also known as the ‘idiot light’) came on. However, just one mile from the Carlisle junction his car started spluttering, and it finally drew to a halt on the motorway junction slip road! Luckily, it was only a 10 minute walk to the petrol station, and they were nice and lent Mark a can.
This, of course, caused much hilarity among the rest of us for the rest of the week. Mark even tried, at one stage, again when the idiot light was on, to pass another (very isolated) petrol station, on the grounds that it was raining, and the station didn’t have a canopy!
On our return journey back to Bristol, Mark had again decided that the same petrol station in Carlisle would be suitable. All was looking fine until the idiot light came on 30 miles before. Amid much laughter, Nathan and Conor decided to bet 10 quid that he would run out again. Of course, this just made Mark more determined. However, he’d forgotten which junction to get off at. He drove around the roundabout twice, and had to do a U-turn at some traffic lights, at junction 44, before realising that it was junction 43 he needed! Unfortunately, Mark made it to the Tesco’s, so Nathan and Conor lost their bet. But it would have been worth it if Mark had run out again…
Star Wars: Return to the Etive
Long ago, long ago, in a Galaxy far, far away, a Yobo Alliance of Jedi Knights and trainees sprang up to fight the mighty Etive, but it was to be a long and arduous battle against the Dark Side of the Force.
Luke Petrolwalker, our young Yob hero, lead the Alliance in his Turbo Rover. Luke’s useless navigator was Nath Vadar, a shady character who continually leant towards the Dark Side. Also in the spacecraft was Jabba the Orange, whose knowledge of 20th century telecomms history was legendary, and the lovely Yoda whose experience with the dark side of water often resulted in extra-vehicular activities.
As the Rover raced through the solar system, other craft began their journey. The Droids Threepints-Aplin and R-2-the-Vet were hydraulic arm in hydraulic arm, listening to the ramblings of Ben Qenobi in R-2’s diesel powered spacecraft. Ben Qenobi was a Jedi Knight from long ago, in fact so long ago, he could barely remember why! The beautiful Princess Layme came alone to join the Diesel Craft looking forward to having the Dark Side in her. The Alliance was also joined by another Jedi Knight from the hinterland of Dork, Hans-me-drink, who was travelling in his under powered Japanese spacecraft with his northern pal Chewie. Chew’s claim to fame was two-fold, either repeating stories such as “I’ve paddled the Etive with novice Jedi’s, its a piece of piss” or his need to wear nappies whist paddling. Finally, a new Yob by the name of Wacky completed the Alliance armed with bottles of whiskey
So the intrepid band made their way through many solar systems and the hurdles of instellar voyaging. Sadly, at just about the point Luke’s Rover was to enter the Etive Galaxy, the radioactive turbo fuels cells began to disappear and they ground to a halt on Intergalactic 6 (IG6) “Oh no” cried Yoda “the Great Fish Emperor is preventing you coming”. “Rubbish I’m too sexy to stop coming!” jabbed Jabba. “Don’t worry Yoda, its only my fuel cells, there’s a Tesco IG Trading Post some nano-light year away. Quick Nath and myself will rustle some unleaded stuff.”
Luke was fortunate to know IG6 well from his days as an inter-galactic software trader, exploiting and fulfilling the needs of those strange humanoids, the software nerds who are still inter-netting our Universe. Arriving in the Etive galaxy our intrepid Yobo Alliance made camp in the Great Castle. Many of the trainee Jedi’s participated in more difficult training sessions, as Hans and Qenobi took them through more difficult stunts. One particular stunt was having Wacky leave his spacecraft to navigate itself through a tricky meteorite shower, and then have Nath Vadar single handedly rescue it after negotiating all Wackie’s whiskey supply. In the evening, temptation from the Dark Side of a Wackie’s whiskey bottle continued to lead Nath Vadar to an unconscious end, whilst the Princess Layme became louder and louder.
On the day of the Etive Battle, our heroes were lead by Hans and Quenobi, after Threepint and AR2 found that “showing consideration for others” was too great. But as the remaining Yob Alliance mounted their Probes, the Great Fish Emperor began to summon his weather systems to defend the mighty Etive. Great torrents of wind and rain began to obliterate the landscape leaving Jabba, Wacky and Yoda and into Lunar based support, armed with high-tech video cameras with dead batteries! Layme retried to her spacecraft as it was too cold and wet!
First off to battle the Etive was the great and intrepid Qenobi who took off with three mighty blows from an introductory Force. Then followed Hans, after Nath Vadar, then Chewie (with double absorbent nappies), and bringing up the rear and nearly his lunch, our hero Luke.
The weather became fiercer as the Emperor tried to defend the Etive. But as the solar wind blew loader and loader Luke became more and more aggressive. Yoda screamed at him “Blind anger, hatred, that’s for Polo, it’s the door to the Dark Side”.
Qenobi replied “you must not give in. If you do, you’ll be lost like Nath Vadar” Miraculously Nath Vadar immediately fell into a Black hole and became suspended as the Force gripped him. Fortunately, Nath Vadar was all too familiar with the Dark Side, and quickly put the light on.
From then on things went well. Hans-me-drink complimented Luke-“You have learned much, tall one.” “You’ll find I’m full of surprises.” “And so is the Etive” replied Hans-me-drink as his eyes fell trans-fixed on the mightiest part of the Etive, the Great Force of the Etive. Luke turned and fear immediately travelled through every artery as he gazed at this Mega Force, extending below into a massive WhiteHole.
“You control your fear much better than Chewie” shouted Qenobi. “But to paddle this Force, you must ignite even more aggression and go with the Force”.
Nath Vadar and Hans bravely showed the trainee Jedi’s how to navigate the Force, leaving Qenobi to demonstrate that its not all plain sailing! Then came Chewies’ turn, nappies well and truly soiled he commenced his descent. The WhiteHole then extricated Chewie from his probe and threw him over to the left side of the Force. Fortunately, this extra-vehicular activity thoroughly washed the soiled nappies.
It was now the tun of our hero Luke. First, Luke remembered Qenobi’s warning and threw himself over into the Force. His Magic Probe plunged through the chaotic tribulations of the Etive down into the WhiteHole. The WhiteHole had tremendous power and threw Luke’s Magic Bat towards the Right Side of the Force. Luke attempted many times to recover but it was too late, the torrential rain made the Dark Side stronger and he was quickly sucked from his Probe. The Dark Side of the Force had our hero.
Back at the surface the Lunar support team tried to mount a rescue by hanging lines into the WhiteHole, with Wacky feebly shouting “oh dear, where’s our hero”, or “Luke, hang on to this and Yoda and I will pull you up over this 30 metre rock face.”
The interception between the Dark Side and the WhiteHole was a strange place. Fortunately, Luke was still strong and pulled himself up on to a ledge and viewed his new World. His Probe and light-sabre were awash in the WhiteHole, but he was breathing and remembered the training from his BCU Instructors Course, “Instructors are not qualified to paddle more than Grade 2 forces_”
But Luke didn’t get to be Alliance Chairman by sitting around saying “Why am I a total idiot, why do I get talked into doing these ridiculous things?” So he breathed in the moist air, and as he felt the Life Force strong inside him, he plunged back into the WhiteHole as the Force carried him back to the surface of the WhiteHole and beyond to safety with his Yob comrades.
The Yob Alliance had succeeded in defeating the mighty Etive. The decision to return to the Great Castle was unanimous, since the remains of Chewie’s soiled nappies had been washed down stream.
Back at the Great Castle, the two Droids had been oiling their hydraulics again, and with great relief saw the mighty Rover appear with its newly trained Jedi Knights having safely returned from the Dark Side of the Force.
A Jedi Kn
Polo
Bristol Ladies Polo Team (National Div 2)
Bristol Ladies Polo team have had a successful year. We have finished about half-way down the league (final results not ready yet). In thelast tournament at Hemel Hempstead, we won one match, drew one, and lost two matches. All the team members have been playing well, with all team members scoring goals during the tournaments. Well done to all the team.
Bristol ‘B’ Polo team (Regional Div 2)
Bristol ‘B’ team have played a few tournaments recently, but unfortunately missed one tournament due to late change of venue. This has confused the rankings, so we don’t know how well we’re doing. (Apparently not last, though). In the last tournament we lost all the matches, although we weren’t disgraced, and the team enjoyed themselves. Thanks to everyone who played.
Summer friendly tournaments.
There will be some friendly tournaments at Caen Hill over the Summer -see the programme for dates.
Lisa
Slalom
A big thank-you to all of you who came to help at Llandysul in May. We had a very good turn out from the club, with over twenty people appearing at various times over the weekend. A jolly fun time was had by all, with much merriment and booze flowing too.
Despite the very low water level, Martyn Green set an interesting course. Many of the competitors commented on it, so it wasn’t just my imagination! It rained gently through most of Saturday, but this wasn’t enough to change the water level appreciably.
A very low turn out of competitors meant that we weren’t pressed for time, but none the less we managed to have the prize giving at 3pm on Sunday, which must be the earliest ever. I was very pleased to be able to hand out prizes to the Bristol contingent. Martyn gained the Official’s prize, and Janet Adcock the first Lady judge. Jan Prior won the Div 3 Ladies, Daniel Goddard won the Div 2 C1 (and will soon be promoted to Div 1, no doubt), and Nathan Scott won the Open event, in a hard-fought contest against Paul Coyne, Andy Millener, and Dave Brain. Lee Nicholls and Dave Brain won the Div 3 Team event, together with another scratch team member. Well done too to Avis Noott, and Bernie Cole, neither of whom won anything, but it’s the taking part that counts! Others who took to the water included Nick and Ben Wainwright, and Alison Day, who managed to come all the way from London just to help!
Thanks again to all who entered, especially to those who came on the Friday to help put up the course.
PS – I spoke to some of the people from Llandysul the other day, and the river is now in flood.
| Sun | June 8 | Bristol Marathon – helpers wanted (see Ron or Steve Bennett) |
| Sat / Sun | June 7/8 | Tryweryn guaranteed releases |
| Sun | June 8 | Polo tournament in Liverpool |
| Thur | June 12 | Paddle at Saltford |
| Sat / Sun | June 14/15 | Shepperton Div 4/5 slalom |
| Sun | June 15 | Surfing at Woolacombe – Mark Gillett |
| Thur | June 19 | Treasure Hunt (Phil Longrigg Trophy) – Avis |
| Sat / Sun | June 21/22 | Stonehenge 97 – Canoe Exhibition in Pewsey |
| Sat / Sun | June 21/22 | Tryweryn Tour (all day both days) |
| Sat / Sun | June 28/29 | Austria trip starts |
| Sun | July 6 | Symmonds Yat – Rob Hignell |
| Sat / Sun | July 12/13 | Darley Abbey Div 4/5 slalom |
| Sun | July 13 | Caen Hill Polo Tournament |
| Sun | July 20 | Surfing at Putsborough – Mark Gillett |
| Thur | July 24th | Pub Crawl around the docks (by boat). 7.30pm – Conor |
| Sat / Sun | July 26/27 | Woodmill Div 4/5 slalom |
| Sat / Sun | July 26/27 | Tryweryn guaranteed release |
| Thur | July 31 | Paddle in Bath – Quentin |
| Wed | Aug 6 | Pool night for rolling practice 7.30pm. NO POLO FOR THIS EVENING. |
| Thur | Aug 7 | Intra club polo (Phil Longrigg Trophy) – Simon Reid |
| Sat / Sun | Aug 9/10 | Holmepierrepont available |
| Fri | Aug 15 | BBQ at Conor & Lisa’s house. 7.30pm onwards. Bring you own food + drink. |
| Sat / Sun | Aug 16/17 | Tryweryn guaranteed release |
| Sun | Aug 17 | Caen Hill Polo Tournament |
| Thur | Aug 21 | Intra club mini-slalom (Phil Longrigg Trophy) – Conor |
| Fri – Mon | Aug 22/25 | St David’s Weekend – Surfing etc – Justin Sims |
| Sat / Sun | Aug 23/24 | Llandysul Div 4/5 slalom |
| Sat / Sun | Aug 30/31 | Washburn Div 2/3 slalom |
| Thur | Sept 4 | Last dock’s night |
| Wed | Sept 10 | First pool night – 7.30pm Bristol South Pool |
| Sun | Sept 14 | Caen Hill Polo Tournament |
| Fri | Oct 17 | Provisional AGM date |
| Sun | Oct 19 | River Barle trip (beginners / intermediate) – Conor |
| Fri – Sun | Dec 5/7 | Dart Weekend |