The Exe Descent in a Playboat
3 Novice’s Tale!
or
That’s the Last Bloody time we do that!
It was that time of year.. the Endeavour 50 Mile Challenge was finished, and all the hollow promises from the team to train through the winter this year had once again fallen by the way side! The cold dark days of November were upon us.. so it was time for a new challenge – 19 miles in a boat which has an overwhelming desire to travel in circles or worse backwards at the most inopportune moment, whilst negotiating 7 or more weirs and numerous tricky little rapids… and this is fun?!
But hey two of us were seasoned pro’s after finishing the course last year when the Exe was in flood in creditable times of 3 hours and 3 hours 25 minutes respectively.. so this year Steve Mads and I roped in another sucker from the lloyds Team.. young Matt (who is game for most things (especially having had a record 25 dunkings in the docks when he first joined the Endeavour team the previous year (still a record!)
No need for a reccy we decided and stayed at home on the Saturday before the race looking out the window gazing happily at the rain which had finally arrived.. the race was definitely on. No beloved K2’s for us for this white water extravaganza… oh no we were off in the nice stable plastics.. which weren’t so bad last year.. or so we seemed to remember.
We arrived early to be scrutineered and were told.. ‘those helmets are now illegal’ and ‘you should have air bags’.. but we were still given our little red dots and passed as fit for the race having nodded willingly when we were told we would need to address these deficiencies next year!
The race began and we watched the K2’s and K1’s as they tried the shallow water option and all grounded… the first weir decision made for us down the left hand side amongst the trees and over the steps in the deeper water. After Mads fell in last year and I chased his lookalike for over a mile only to find it wasn’t him as he was being rescued a mile back the river we had a plan to stay together come hell or high water (some hope!) I went first and found my spray deck was garbage and ended up with a boat 1/4 full of water but escaped unscathed save a smack in the face from a low hanging branch.. spinning around after the weir to see Mads flying down behind me. Where was Matt? Then he came into sight having taken the fives steps as follows.. 1st step sideway, 2nd backwards, 3rd and 4th sideways and the 5th step facing forwards… was he showing offff? we were soon to find out he wasn’t!
Onwards to Tiverton town weir without incident, which again we took on the left heading for the wall before swinging right with the flow and back into the deeper water.. and all down without any sign of a dunking.. but my boat was now half full and a pig to steer! a small weir followed which looked a breeze but the stopper at the bottom caught Matt unawares and his cherry was popped.. dunking number 1!!! After a quick, or leisurely empty out we were off again. I was circling at steady 30 second intervals by now and needed an enforced stop to bail out.. Mads and Matt waited alongside until a marshall clearly with team spirit high on his agenda insisted this wasn’t a team event and there was no waiting for your mates! Cheery bast**d!
Anyway after a bail out I tanked after the other two and caught them just before Broken Weir.. Last year in flood this was pretty easy but I was nearly caught out by what felt like a 6/7ft drop over the weir. Fortunately I was knackered catching the others up so leaning back was easy and I got over without too much trouble but what was this… there was Matt again having another swim!!! Quick check that he was ok before paddling off before Jobsworth in his yellow jacket came round the corner! No time at all before we were shooting Bickleigh bridge weir.. my boat full with water again already! but there was my other half with the camera stood in the pub gardens…. ‘surrender was considered’ Mads was down safely and we ambled on waiting for Matt to catch us which he did over the next mile or so
By now it was cold wet and pretty miserable and the ‘rapids’ were a damn site more tricky than last year in higher water. the worst part of the river was in front up to Thorverton with a number of stretches of fast water in narrow streams taking us into very welcoming branches and trees!
Then we came to a right hander with Matt surging ahead the current took him to the right side of the river straight into a fallen tree stretching out across the river. Dunking number 3!!! But worse was to follow… Mads thinking Matt had hit his head took up lifesaving duty and paddled furiously to Matt’s assistance… unfortunately Matt had just about recovered and was trying to stand in the strong flow when Mads came at him to ‘help’ but only serving to crash into him sideways on and crush him between boats. I passed asking ‘are you ok’ but with no intention of trying to get into the same mess and stopped at the left hand bank a few feet down having rescued Matt’s paddle, only to hear Mads ooohhh oooohhhh ooohhhing, as he capsized into the icy water, just like my gran putting her toes in a cold sea!!, … you had to be there but it was very very funny!
Matt was now tired and exhausted and we were all struggling.. it was much harder than last year. but we set off again… only for Matt to visit another over hanging tree and visit the drink again as 2 marshalls came to his rescue Mads and I had no option but to heed their orders of getting a move on… Thorverton weir next which was fairly simple and the point at which Matt called it a day. We seriously considered doing the same but male pride wouldn’t let us.. and I was still dry! well apart from the full boat of water which I had to empty 4 times during the trip
On we went cold and grumpy and forcing each other on to Four Pines. We couldn’t remember where to take this in low water so I opted for left! bad choice as i ran aground half way down.. the helpful marshall at the bottom said you should have gone along the fish step.. very useful advice after the event!
Both unscathed we headed for Cowley Steps (which we were looking forward to as it had been closed last year). We opted for the centre of the weir, having just seen a fellow paddler fall out doing just the same. 5 steps and we were over.. that was the best weir of the lot but guess what I was full of water again and Mads had a 2nd wind and was steaming ahead!
1 final bail out stop and we were off to Flowerpot, every muscle aching.. this was no longer any fun at all. Over the 2 weirs at flowerpot we went like seasoned pro’s and by now we had even overtaken at least 10 other paddles.
We ambled to the finish line in a time of just over 4 hours feeling significantly worse than last year
That was definitely the very last Exe descent for either of us.. well in a plastic boat anyway……. a K2 next year… unlikely but then never say never!!!!!!
Paddlers were
- Paul Keyte
- Steve Madams
- Matt Paget